


Corrupted file

by Madam_Violet



Series: The Vault Chronicles [29]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bill and the Doctor have a discussion, Gen, post Doctor Who Infinity : the Dalek Invasion of Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15836502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Madam_Violet
Summary: “Yeah, sort of. I'm not sure Missy properly understands death. Death is a difficult concept for Time Lords in general. I've seen so many friends die, but I'm still not sure I do grasp it either.”“Nobody really grasps death. We know it exists, but we can't properly make ideas of it. It's like some kind of corrupted file in the back of the mind. You know it's here, but your brain refuses to register it. I'm not a religious person, but I keep acting like if my mom was still there. Like if I could... like if I could join her, one day.”





	Corrupted file

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm not dead. Sorry for the hiatus, I've got caught in a black hole named "Steven Universe".

Bill watched silently as Missy disappeared with her vortex manipulator, her eyes locked in a disapproving glare.  
“Doctor” she said in a low, almost whispering voice.  
“I know what you're thinking” the Time Lord answered calmly, “but there's nothing I can do for now.”  
“Do you think she's going to kill somebody before...”  
“That's not even a question. I'm not sure where she's from, I mean, from what point of her timeline. Maybe she'll get caught tomorrow, maybe in a century.”  
“I know you can't change history, but I feel... bad about it.”  
“I still feel bad about all the tragedy I can't prevent, but believe me, it's better not to play with the fabric of time. If it makes you better, Missy will eventually be captured and contained.”  
Bill nodded.  
“Speaking of which” Nardole interrupted, “We should head back home before she starts acting out.”  
The Doctor gave Bill a pat on the shoulder before dematerialising the TARDIS.

Back in Bristol, the Doctor offered Bill a cup of tea to discuss the events of the day. After all, it had been the girl's first real encounter with Daleks and with a free Missy. Even if the Time Lady had been surprisingly tame all along.  
“So, that's what destroyed your home planet” Bill said simply. “Giant, murderous pepper pots. It could almost be comical if it wasn't so tragic.”  
“Isn't this the essence of tragedy itself ?” the Doctor asked, taking a sip of his tea.  
“Yeah, probably. Talking of morbid humour, what's the deal with Missy ? I'm not sure I get her.”  
“I'm not sure I get her either, and I know her since I was a little boy.”  
“The way she revels about death, is she serious or joking ? I can never tell.”  
“She's serious, most of the time. But you have seen like me she didn't kill anyone today. I start to think I might have kept low expectations from her all those years. Maybe she's better than I thought.”  
“Better ? She made fun of this girl about murdering her sister !”  
The Doctor shrugged.  
“Yeah, it's her twisted sense of humour.”  
“And she keeps talking about killing you ! She can't be serious.”  
“I think she is. She probably enjoys the idea, but she can never really act on her words because she likes having me around. If I ever die for real, she won't have anyone worth killing anymore.”  
“That's the most twisted thing I've ever heard. Seriously, Doctor, how can you feel safe around that psycho ?”  
The Doctor shrugged.  
“I don't feel safe. Why do you think I keep her contained in a maximum security Vault ?”  
“You still go down and visit her almost every day !”  
“If I didn't she would feel lonely.”  
Bill frowned.  
“You really like her, don't you ? Don't you ever think it's not worth it ?”  
“What's not worth it ?”  
“Everything you do for her. It's like your whole life revolves around Missy. You stopped travelling for her, you found a job, you spend all your free time locked with her in that Vault.”  
“You say that as if it was a bad thing. Isn't that what you humans do ? Finding a job, settling somewhere and having a family ?”  
“Sure. But you're not human, and Missy is barely what you could call a family.”  
“Time Lords usually don't mess around their whole life either, Bill. Actually, most of them don't mess around at all, they just go to the Academy, find a job, get married and loom a pair of Time Tots. I won't say I enjoy the situation, but it's probably the best for both Missy and I, stability and each other's affection.”  
“What affection ? She dreams to kill you.”  
“Well, it's her own weird way to show how important I am to her. And it's only a fantasy, maybe a long time goal. But for the moment she doesn't plan to harm me, or Nardole, or even you. Well, she probably couldn't care less about you, but she knows you're important to me.”  
“It's strange, at moments I could have sworn she cared about the lives we saved.”  
“She probably did. Missy is a lot more empathetic than any of her previous regenerations. That's probably why she threatens my life and everyone's around her that much. I've read files and files about her, when I obtained her custody. She killed a surprisingly little number of people, if you compare to usual body count. I'm not sure she's ready to admit she's getting softer with age. I'm not even sure what made her like this. Probably something to do with her regeneration.”  
“Have you ever talked about it with her ?” Bill asked carefully.  
“Off course I did, but she claims she doesn't remember anything. Memory loss, important body change, I'm pretty sure she went through a lot. And sometimes I'm almost certain she won't regenerate again.”  
The Doctor's voice went coarse. Bill put her hand on his, noticing the tears in his eyes.  
“You think she's dying ?”  
The idea made the girl strangely sad. She might dislike Missy, it was still strange to think such an old creature could be on the verge of death.  
“It's a possibility. But I'm sure I'll find a solution before she goes. Her body's still young and healthy, and I'm making sure she doesn't put herself in danger. If she stays safe in her Vault, she can easily live through her thousand years sentence and it gives me time to... find a solution. If the worst happened, I still have eleven lives to spear.”  
“You think she's realising the value of life ?”  
“Yeah, sort of. I'm not sure Missy properly understands death. Death is a difficult concept for Time Lords in general. I've seen so many friends die, but I'm still not sure I do grasp it either.”  
“Nobody really grasps death. We know it exists, but we can't properly make ideas of it. It's like some kind of corrupted file in the back of the mind. You know it's here, but your brain refuses to register it. I'm not a religious person, but I keep acting like if my mom was still there. Like if I could... like if I could join her, one day.”  
Bill sniffled and the Doctor apologised for the dark turn the conversation was taking.  
“Missy is fascinated by death. She's with humans like a kid would be with ants. She feels like she'll never die, because she probably won't. Even if I didn't find a way to save her body, her mind would survive in the Matrix. Time Lords are potentially immortal. She knows she can't properly kill me, that's what makes it exciting and frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if she's not trying to push the limits of her own immortality. On Carnathon, they had the device to kill her permanently. Time Lords can be killed, if they committed enough crimes. She did commit a lot of crimes, but still nothing worth of death sentence by Gallifreyan laws. I saved her from death, and she was acting like it was nothing, but I can tell when she's pulling an act. She was terrified.”  
Bill nodded.  
“Maybe she's like this because she's scared of death. That would make sense, she kills people because it makes her feel like she controls death itself. Also, making fun of the dead could be a way to prove to everyone and to herself she's alive. Like a Trump supporter calling everyone a cuck on Reddit. Or a shallow girl watching Love Island to comfort herself about her average intelligence. Oh, my gosh, I've already done that one !”  
The Doctor took a sip of his tea and looked at Bill like he was seeing her for the first time.  
“You know what, you're the reason why I keep up with humans.”  
“Err, you're welcome.”


End file.
